Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Fart Patrol

Today, in class, my students were given time to quiz one another using their flashcards before the test began. I have one boy in the class, TB, who could talk paint off of a wall. Honestly, if I offered the kid $1 million to not make a sound for 45 minutes, he'd crack in the first 30 seconds. The other students have noticed, and they hate it.

This conversation followed:

PH (female): "Mr. Lowe, could you make one exception and maybe turn around for like ten seconds so that I can go and slap TB so hard that he never talks again?"

Me: "P, you know, I hear where you're coming from, but you know I can't do that."

PH: "I really think you can, it wouldn't be all that long."

The girl sitting next to her, RG, is listening to the entire conversation because I was standing next to her desk talking to PH. All of the sudden, I get a faint whiff of something and I realize that, yes, it's a fart, and a nasty one at that. So I stay silent. I don't say a word. Right as I'm about to respond to PH, RG looks up at me and says:

RG: "Don't stand too close, I just farted."

It took everything I had in me to not laugh because this girl is so quiet and would never - or I previously thought - admit to such a rank, vile smell. Like I said in one of my first posts of this blog, these kids divulge EV.ER.Y.THING.

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